Me, Myself, & e story cont'd...

a week after...

2005-09-23T10:45:00.000+08:00

its almost a week since.. must say tat everything fell back to normal pace @ such unbelievable rate. but looking back on wat happened thruout e whole process, we r truely an amazing bunch.. hahah! yes, there were moments of tears and tension, but most of e time, its the sense of unity, understanding, and finally pride tat we shared and treasured. we may not b e best, but we noe wat we had achieved so far. wif tat, we shall move on. of cos, not forgetting our utmost faithful group of frens cum supporters (lin ma, xj, jacjac, fc etc). somehow, i always have tis feeling tat even if any comp is held somewer out of tis world, we'l still hav u guys cheering us on... kekeke, think too much~ thank you thank you thank you.

2 days b4...

2005-08-25T10:31:00.000+08:00

counting down to E DAY... muahahhaha~! hasn't been so excited since... can't recall. actually can lah, since funka. though there were performances in between tis period, but e feelings u get from competitions & performances r very different. ya, both will get butterflies in tummy, but e former is more of anticipation, while e latter is nervousness... heheh!

come to think of it, we reali eh sai... looking @ wat we achieved during practises, can't imagine tat we had only trained for 2wks. now jus need more work on e little details as well as our expressions, & i guess we r all ready to rockz~!

pray tat all else will fall nicely into place (costumes, stage, weather, crowd, health, energy level etc etc), then it's down to confidence & ease.

wooooo.... so much to look forward to. Da' Street Soulz, we go gals~!~!~!

affairs of e heart

2005-08-23T15:27:00.000+08:00

for those who have yet to luv, enjoy ur singlehood but dun resist when true luv comes a knocking.

for those who yearns to luv, open both ur heart & ur eyes. dun b blinded by a moment of passion. sometimes, it is easier to jus let go when u realised tat it's simply not meant to be.

for those who have luved & lost, take ur time to cry, to hurt, & eventually to heal. e wrong has passed u by, but one day, u'l find a special someone waiting. one who makes it all worthwhile.

for those who have found THE ONE, congratulations. cherish wif all ur heart & soul tis treasure tats priceless.

along a starry journey

2005-08-17T10:53:00.000+08:00

for e 1st time since tis competition started, i sensed an foreign emotion tat surprised even myself. distant. i guess its more or less part & parcel of being in tis position. from e initial rallies b4 he made his name, till e eventual silent support when taking e back seat (pun unintended), we were there. quietly unseen most of e times but yes, we were there.

perhaps we should have expected it from the beginning, as more & more ppl get drawn to his talent. a public figure pretty much belongs to, well, the public. but sometimes i guess we jus wana b a weeeeeee bit selfish. kekeke

i noe i'm not the only one who felt tis way, or even @ a deeper level. but hey, tis is his dream, & as frens, let's support him e way true frens do. as one climbs higher, one gets lonelier, & tis is when we step into e picture once again. there will b a day when all tis hoohaaa mellows down. & tats when we'l c him as e one we knew.

silently we pray, tat tis dear guy will emerge a stunning star... 4 us, 4 all.

terribly disappointed...

2005-07-14T09:35:00.000+08:00

i'm pissed. damn pissed!!! sori to bring tis unhappiness here but tat's e main emotion tat arises whenever i think/read abt e current nkf saga. i've always prided myself for being objective, but tis time round, i'm afraid i have to take side...

i will not go into details of e whole event, but it all started from a newspaper article, & a decision to sue for slander. tis finally resulted in a 2 days trial, with a whole bunch of ugly secrets being unveiled. & e revelation of the truths r so freaking shocking, it has left many of us flabbergasted.

to my impression, when one started out as a non-profit charity organization, e sole mission is to help & save those who r ill & in need. tis is precisely e reason y e public contributed generously to a NPO tat's totally reliant on donations to operate. to help e poor & sick. we entrusted our good faith & tons of money to tis organization, believing tat many will benefit from our kindness. so it is perfectly reasonable tat we asked for each dollar & cents of e funds to be spent appropriately, with e interest of its patients & their health to be placed above everything else @ all times.

yet over e past few days, we learnt instead tat staff's welfare in nkf is overgenerous. gold-plated tap? german toilet bowl?? glass-panelled shower??? 1st cls air flights???? $600k annual salary????? hello~! in wat way does these seem like necessary expenses of a NPO? Look, all e above r from public funding, which in turn stems from paychks of many a guy on e street who may not even earn 20K a yr!

i noe e ceo's argument is tat e board has approved these entitlements & he's simply making use of them. BUT! he gota understand e difference between working as a ceo in a NPO & in a private company. every payout from nkf is using money tat can easily make a difference in e life of a patient, therefore unlike other profit making corporations, they cannot go ahead with expenditures tat do not justifies their values in order to satisfy their personal comfort. we do not disagree to perks given to staff but pls, work within a sensible budget. how can they be such a spendthrift & still has e cheek to appeal for more donations from us yr after yr? we're no idiots!

my fellow countrymen has always been a laidback bunch. even when faced with verbal insults, & drastic acts like burning of our national flag by other countries, singaporeans have never retaliated with similar distasteful actions. some people may say tat tis is due to our lack of patriotism towards our nation. but i beg to differ. i believe tat tis is simply because we chose to remain civilized & would rather settle all our differences by talking things out peacefully on e table. so when somebody actually vandalised e exterior of nkf building ysdae morn to express their anger towards tis issue, i think singapore is really mad...

back... after xx days

2005-05-25T11:28:00.000+08:00

hmm, its been quite sometime since i last blogged.. y so? cos i only wanted 2 write wat i feel.. tats all. nothing else. therefore, no special emotion = no entry. simple as tat.

i'm attending a wedding tis wkend. these days, it seems to me tat many of my frens, ex-schoolmates r either getting engaged or hitched. though it felt like just yesterday tat we were still young & playful, wif exams being e main dark cloud looming over our otherwise carefree life, in reality, each of these very same people i had shared my earliest memories wif has moved on wif different priorities & goals.

I'm not sure how prepared i am in entering tis phase of life, but e steady increase in the count of candles on my cake annually is undeniable. still, i owe it 2 myself to walk a path tat will not fill me wif regrets when i finally turned to look back upon. therefore marriage, 4 e moment, is something i am perfectly contented to simply dream of..

dance rays***

2005-04-12T14:20:00.000+08:00

i missed e wkend. or rather, more specifically, i missed e stage. i know. i'm gettin e withdrawal symptons again. but it's such a wonderful feeling 2 b standing on stage & performin 4 e audience. even if e main attention is not on us. @ tat moment at least, we shined... e bond btw e group, e cheers (even if it's not solely 4 us), e knowledge tat each moves were well executed, oh, so addictive. i can drink it all in & yet yearn 4 more. if ony we can do tis everydae of our life...

e passing..

2005-04-04T02:36:00.000+08:00

Pope John Paul II had died. on sat, 2 april 2005, @ 2137, tis one man tat has touched e lives of countless believers of e Roman Catholic religion throughout e past 26 yrs, was called in2 e arms of e Lord. & e world grieves..

no, i'm not a catholic. & neither do i noe nor heard much abt e Pope who lived practically across e other half of e planet Earth. at less, it is so b4 his death 2 days ago. now however, i see his name, image, legacy, & death on every single headlines in e news. it is surprisin how much i'v learnt abt e lifestory of tis amazing person in jus so short a span of time. he was born in 1920, 18 may, was e youngest, longest reigning, & 1st non-italian (he's polish) Pope in all of 455yrs history, travelled extensively & reached out 2 millions worldwide, survived an assassination attempt etc etc..

somehow, thru all tis published informations, i 'v come 2 admire e late Pope. not simply as a highly regarded religion leader, but also as an extraordinary individual who was devoted 2 his mission in life, & at e moment of his death, united both believers & non-believers 2 mourn e loss of a great spiritual leader. me included.

why muz it b so??

2005-04-03T03:27:00.000+08:00

i hate 2 b pretentious. e feeling sucks big time & it's such a taxing chore. nvr liked it, nvr will. i guess it's jus not me since i'm such a lazy person.

y shd i paste a smile on my face when i'm feelin downright depressed? y shd i entertain u when all i reali wan is 4 u 2 leave me alone? y shd i act as if u r my best fren in e whole of e universe in tis moment, when we hav nvr even held a single heart-2-heart conversation??

no, i prefer 2 be who i am, doing & saying wat i truely wan. ha!!! easier said then done. though it irks me 2 e core, i myself is guilty of being so now & then. it makes things so much more simpler. yeah, tat's rite. jus human instinct 2 pick e easy way out. but i noe tis facade will not last as e persona i presented is not real.

there4, 2 e few who'v seen, accepted & still loved me as M.Y.S.E.L.F, i thank u..

wonder

2005-04-02T04:07:00.000+08:00

met up wif a couple of old frens earlier. suddenly recalled something i heard somewer b4: "why do one needs other(s)? bcos 2 b among e billions of our kind in e world, a single person's life is too insignificant if there's no one to bear witness to its progress."

is tat y we hav family & frens?? so tat someone will b able 2 vouch 4 our existance, regardless how long or short, even after it's over? maybe... maybe...

at e beginning...

2005-04-01T06:02:00.000+08:00

hmm... i've nvr thought of having a blog. a diary prob, but nope, not a blog. but somehow, i guess tis is a pretty gd idea since i spent more time in front of a computer than a notebook nowadays. Oh & i think i'l enjoy reviewing tis entries in future... *smile*